I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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