Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
