they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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