Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
