Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
