Sponge bath it is.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
