she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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