I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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