If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
