She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
