The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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