as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
