I cockslap morals
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
