All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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