There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
