the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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