He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
