I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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