More tranny stories later!
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
