he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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