Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
