what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
