she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
