Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
