When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
