sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
