Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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