Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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