Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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