yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
