at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
