Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
