I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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