Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
