if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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