I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i now understand why vodka
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
