Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
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