wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize