Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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