Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
