we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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