Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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