Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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