Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
