its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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