there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
