its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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