So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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