Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
