Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
