I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
