In the future we'll all be gay
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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