It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
