Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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