For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
