the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
