so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize