hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
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I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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