Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How naked do you want me to be?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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