Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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