you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
