When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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