I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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